I was pursuing golf when I should have been allowing God to determine what happened with golf

God has been teaching me a lot lately about how wrong I was in pursuing golf.  Having children has helped put things in greater perspective for me and has allowed me to have a better attitude about the game.  I was selfish when pursuing the game.  I hate the fact that I dragged Brie through all of my silliness.  She's an amazing woman, for she never complained and was so incredibly patient and supportive.  God has been teaching me the following regarding these errors in my life....

1.  If God had told me that He wanted me to be a professional golfer, then I would have had a much more relaxed attitude than I did when I pursued golf.  I would have had an attitude of surrender, knowing that God would bring about what He wanted in His perfect timing.  I would have worked hard, but I would not have tried to force anything in fear of stepping outside of His perfect guidance and direction.  This is the attitude I need to have in all areas of my life - work hard, but surrender and allow God to bring about the results that He wants in His timing.  What I actually did was try and force things.  I tried to make it happen myself.  I believed the lie of, "What if I miss out on the opportunity to do something in golf because I didn't work hard?"  This was incredibly foolish, because God is not limited by my mistakes.  He would guide me and direct me and lead me to what He wanted as long as I was obedient.  I also believed the lie that I was "working hard as if it depended on me, but then living realizing it all depended on God".  The reality was that I was working hard as if it depended on me, but not truly surrendering to God.  I know this because I was consumed with my desire to be a pro golfer.  This is not of God.  If I had been truly surrendered, I would have joyfully worked hard with a peaceful surrender, allowing God to do whatever He wanted.  I would not have been concerned about what would happen.  I was working hard, I didn't have to be concerned about the idea of "What if I missed out on what God has for me/what if I miss out on doing something big in golf".

2.  God is helping me develop a better attitude.  I'm not quite there yet, but I think I'm getting closer.  I'm learning to view golf and any other pursuits I have as the following......

-Is God truly leading me to pursue this?

-The purpose of me doing it is to glorify the Lord.  If my attitude is one of joyfully glorifying Him, then I have been successful no matter what the results.  (This has been very "freeing" to develop this attitude.  I was for so long so focused on the end results of my efforts that I would stress out before and during rounds about what I would shoot.  It brings so much joy to head to a round of golf knowing that the result is not what matters, it's my attitude, which I can in fact control, that is the main goal.  If I shoot 100, but have truly worked hard and had a joyful attitude of worship toward the Lord, then I have had a very successful round.  I need to focus on my attitude, God will deal with the results).

-My purpose is to have a good attitude and worship the Lord and allow Him to take care of the results.  I used to be concerned about the idea that I could mess up and sabotage positive results because of my mistakes.  It is true that I can make mistakes which cost me "worldly successes" such as wins, personal best rounds, etc., but that is not something I should worry about like I did in the past.  Part of working hard to glorify the Lord with a positive attitude is working hard to perform your best and try hard not to make big mistakes.  However, these mistakes are not to be feared.  Mistakes will be made, and when they are made we can glorify God by having an attitude about them that glorifies Him, and then seek to learn from them.  To summarize...

a) Your main goal is to glorify the Lord by playing with a positive attitude.  This brings such freedom to your game and will enable you to become better in the long run because it removes stress and keeps the game enjoyable because you are glorifying the Lord with a joyful attitude.

b) Work hard to perform your best for this glorifies God

c) Don't fear mistakes for doing so does not glorify the Lord

d) When you make a mistake learn from it.

e) Enjoy the process, if you are stressed this is a sign that you are not surrendered to the Lord.  Find where you are going wrong and fix it quickly before it becomes a poison in your pursuit and walk with Christ. 

f)  When you focus on glorifying the Lord and keeping your priorities straight, it promotes surrender to the Lord.  It allows you to work hard, without trying to force things.  It allows God to bring about His perfect results, which is always the goal.  

3.  All these things that I've learned through golf can be applied to anything God leads you to work at/purse.